Retrospective on Why I’m Learning to Reverse My Risk-Aversion
Six months ago, I wrote this unpublished and slightly unfinished post about how my life was missing growth, adventure, and challenges. It was kind of my a-ha moment that I needed to do something different and that I needed to start taking risks. Leaving a well-paying job in which you are valued and treated very well is a huge risk for me.
Who knows if this risk will pay off? If it doesn’t, that’s okay. There will be a good lesson or two waiting for me on the other side. I’m grateful, though, to be in a different space and place six months later.
Unfinished Blog from October 23-ish
A couple of months ago, I turned 40. Before my 40th birthday, I anticipated some kinda mid-life crisis. Would I quit my job? Leave my husband? Move across the country? Get a tattoo? Big shocker, I did none of these things. My comfortable life continued as usual— at least from the outside.
But in the months since I’ve turned 40, my inner critic has been working overtime— telling me that I’m not enough, that I play it too safe, and that I’m not where I should be. Whenever I’ve shared these feelings with someone, I’m usually met with “Wow, really? You are way too hard on yourself.”
Was it true? Was I being too hard on myself? I have a comfortable, well-paying job, a husband that loves me, and two amazing children that I adore. If all of this was true, why was, does it not feel like enough for me?
Let’s fast forward to TechLady Hackathon that I attended this weekend(10/21/2017). I attended Eva Reid Stern’s session about finding your passion. She went over the fundamental concepts of Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map with her spin on things. We went through the five life areas (Livelihood/Lifestyle; Body and Wellness; Creativity and Learning; Relationships and Social; Essence and Spirituality) and identified adjectives to describe how we wanted to feel in each of these life areas. The basic gist across most of my areas is growth, adventure, challenged. These are all things that I feel that I’m missing from my life. Risk taking on the regular would satisfy these things.