Musings from an Aspiring #ExtraCreditKid
“I think sometimes people hang around at jobs too long, reliving childhood traumas because it feels comfortable. “Maybe it wasn’t those exact words, but I put down that sentiment. His awkward look of surprise clued me in that I chose inappropriate happy-hour small talk. But, seriously, who wants to talk about the weather or politics?…
“Bitch, be humble.” Nope, sometimes a girl has to brag. Sure I lost a bunch of weight and left an unhappy marriage. But, my swagger lies in my improved situational incontinence avoidance skills. Life goals at age 45, y’all. A year or so earlier, 40 feet from an unseen port-a-potty, I pissed my pants. Not…
An interloper buzzes by as soon as my car door opens. I look over, and he’s doing exploratory bee work on the “Tech Field Day” bag sitting on the passenger seat. I can’t hate, though. In that upright hovering stance, he’s pure magnificence with his contrasting black and yellow jacket body and those little legs….
2021 was when I became 100% that bitch* who got sick, tired, and ready for change. Looking back, I’m grateful for those hella hard days where I could barely get out of bed. Those days were not how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. A desire to feel better drove me to…
I talked shit as a byproduct of fear and bitterness. I kept it “real” which is how I justified letting loose with the “emotional poison.” This person I’ve other-ed shows all of the signs of regularly acting from a place of insecurity and fear. Instead of showing compassion and recognizing our commonality, I’ve branded them…
Wait, was that my downstairs neighbor pounding on my door? Full disclosure: the last thud shook the floor. Nothing is intentional with kids. They didn’t mean to fall out of a lawn chair in my sparsely furnished third-floor apartment. But it happened. When I open my apartment door post-thud, an irate older man with tattooed…
A sun sconce, a mini porcelain doll, a bowl festooned with cheap plastic flowers. These things are what a clutter bug would expect to find in a plastic tote, stowed away for 20 years. At the bottom of the bin, I uncover a two-page email with the subject line “thoughts on us” from the person…
When my Aunt told me this has been a good year for me, I immediately stopped to tell her she was wrong. This year. Ugh, fuck 2021. And, yes, I’m aware that the world is full of suffering and hardships right now and my woes are pretty first world. This year, though, My recently diagnosed…
January 20, 2009, meant a lot to many people. It was American history in the making as Barack Obama got sworn in as the first Black President. Commemorative swag was everywhere. Hell, even I have a Safeway-branded inauguration bag. For me, a far different memory usurped this historic event. It’s not every day a sonogram…
“No one ever loses weight and feels worse,” the expert doctor proclaimed on YouTube. Umm, except for me. Since September, I’ve lost 60 pounds, and honestly, I can’t remember a longer period of my life where I’ve felt sicker with a constant cough, major fatigue, and shortness of breath. I struggle to get through most…