Disrupting the Birthday Blues

Silly rabbit, “happy” birthdays are for kids, right? When is the last time your birthday felt like a cause for celebration? If you are like me, the answer is decades.

An “is this my life” sadness descends upon me every August and then vanishes until the next year.

This birthday I feel hopeful and birthday blues-free. Even with no plan and unemployment days away. Let’s immortalize this moment! Or let this be an excuse to do what I love on my birthday: blog.

So, here it goes.

Struggle Du Jour

If you’ve met me IRL, you probably know that I’m kinda quirky. A little bit of an outsider. I’m okay with that.

Until recently, I also believed that I didn’t care that much what others thought. Somehow, I had the power to override 100,000 years of evolutionary history and programming to not give too many f*cks about fitting in or the opinions of others. Totally badass, right?!

Except I do care. It’s easy to believe you don’t fear judgment when you live your life without ever being bold or taking risks. I’ve been that person for decades.

Sharing my bold idea to resign with no plan stirs up acute insecurity in me. Will others label me crazy, lazy, or just stupid? Wasn’t I immune to these fears?

How do I deal with this insecurity? I try to accept the feelings and not create a self-sabotaging narrative around it. That narrative causes needless grief and never helps get you where you want to go.

I have no control over other people’s opinions, anyhow.