Me + My Favorite Dealer

Me + My Favorite Dealer

While a couple of friends were busy giving life-advice to hookers, I scanned the Mandalay Bay casino floor for my favorite dealer. Earlier in the evening, inquiries about whether others had a favorite casino dealer were met with strange looks and definite no’s.

You might assume that I love to gamble, but I don’t. My gambling ends up like a lot of my life has been: killing time. Three hours later, I can walk away having gained or lost nothing.

So back to the dealer. After the Mandalay Bay shooting in 2017, I spent a couple of late nights at a roulette table. As I played Roulette in a mostly empty casino, I got to know bits and pieces about the 50-year-old dealer’s life. He came from the snowy midwest. He emanated good, kind energy. He dabbled in mainframe emulators in his spare time.

Mainframe emulators? When I asked why he didn’t pursue a career in technology, he said things like “he wasn’t smart enough,” “no one would value what he.did,” and “he was too old.”  His words made me feel sad at my core.  There are themes in life that always draw me in, and unrealized potential is one of them.

At the time, I rocked the status quo and could fool myself into believing that limiting beliefs didn’t affect me. Fast forward to today, as I toy with the idea of solopreneur life, I grapple with my own fears.  Fears that I’m not well-connected enough or likable enough or smart enough.  Lately, though, I’ve begun to believe that only my thoughts are stopping me.  Any deficits can be overcome with a little hard work and some strategic thinking.

What kind of stories do you tell yourself to keep you from going after the thing that you want?

Becky Elliott

After dropping out of a liberal arts college that focused on reading and discussing the “Great Books”, Becky Elliott found her way to a career in IT. For 20+ years, she has held a number of roles in Dev and Ops, and the area in between the two. In working for organizations in which poor security practices can cost lives, she’s an ardent believer in integrating security through the entire design process. Becky holds a number of industry certifications including the Certified Information Systems Security Professional (CISSP).
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