I talked shit as a byproduct of fear and bitterness. I kept it “real” which is how I justified letting loose with the “emotional poison.” This person I’ve other-ed shows all of the signs of regularly acting from a place of insecurity and fear. Instead of showing compassion and recognizing our commonality, I’ve branded them some kind of “Keyser Soze”  Keyser Soze from the movie Usual Suspects masquerades a benign criminal when he’s really the mastermind. and I’m their unsuspecting victim.
Except, I’ve spent enough time ruminating on my interactions with this person that how could I ever claim to be an “unsuspecting victim.” But, “Keyers” triggers unresolved, emotional trauma in a way that feels deeply personal. The hook.
And with this vilification, I fixate on this person and the internal drama of our interactions in a way that is not respective to their place in my life. Followed by second-guessing my judgments. Unless the Universe has some kind of mind-fuck planned, this isn’t someone that will matter to me five years from now. Also, my life is chaotic enough with a long commute, disruptive life changes, an ill mother, and working to become a better version. End world’s tiniest violin, but I have far more fruitful areas to focus my attention.
Reading a short chapter of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life” brought me to this topic. In this book, Dr. Dyer goes through each verse of the spiritual text, the “Tao Te Ching” and follows the verse with a short essay and advice on implementing the Tao in your life.
“In other words, if a thought or behavior divides us, it is not of God; if it unites it is of God. Stay centered on this Tao that resides within you, Lao-tzo and you’ll never have a thought that isn’t in harmony with spirit.”Dr. Wayne Dyer, “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life” on Verse 5 of the Tao Te Ching.
Additionally, Dr. Dyer offers this actionable advice for when you get caught in the mind loops and emotional poison. Use a phrase like “Guide me right now, Tao” to return to the present moment.
I’m gonna make “Bitch, be impeccable” my phrase.
PS – Impeccable words and emotional poison are ideas posited in “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)” by Don Miguel Ruiz.
|Keyser Soze from the movie Usual Suspects masquerades a benign criminal when he’s really the mastermind.